[이태상 칼럼] ‘나의 이름은 코스미안이다 My Name is Cosmian’

이태상

 

2021년 9월 25일자 뉴욕판 중앙일보 오피니언 [뉴욕의 맛과 멋칼럼 웰컴 제너레이션’ 필자 이영주 수필가는 오늘을 웰컴하면서 새로운 미래를 도전해보자!”고 이렇게 촉구 성원하고 있다.

 

지난 (2021년 9) 20유엔서 연설한 방탄소년단 뉴스가 매스컴을 휩쓸고 있다.  그만큼 방탄소년단의 위용은 이제 누구도 넘볼 수 없는 넘사벽이 되었다.  나는 방탄소년단의 음악을 좋아 하기엔 조금 늦은 아나로그 세데여서 음악보다는 그들이 쓴 가사에 더 감동을 하는 편이다.  그래도 방탄이 빌보드 1위를 처음 했던 다이너마이트는 멜로디도 익숙하다.  둘째 사위와 손자가 차를 타면 자주 들어서 모르는 사이에 스며들었달까.  싱어게인의 30호 가수 이승윤이 불렀던 소우주라는 곡도 멋있다

 

좋아하는 멤버는 단연 리더 RM이다.  그냥 좋다.  얼굴이 참 선해 보이나 댄디하면서도 카리스마가 있다.  유엔에서 처음 연설하던 RM은 존재 자체가 경이였다

 

방탄소년단의 유엔에서 연설과 공연활동 등을 유튜브에 들어가 서 살펴보다가 흥미로운 장면을 목격했다.  메트로폴리탄 뮤지엄을 방문해 한국실을 둘러보는 중이었다.  RM이 한국실 도자기들 을 보다가 윤광조라는 이름을 입에 올린 장면이다.  분청사기의 시조라고 할만큼 고려 시대의 분청사기를 재현하고 발전시켜 온 한국 도자기계의 거물 윤광조 선생을 RM이 알고 있다니.  그가 원래 미술작품에 관심이 많고 조예가 깊다고 알고 있었지만윤광조 선생까지 알고 있는 건 의외였다.  내가 윤광조 선생을 좋아해서 작가의 초창기 작품을 몇 점 가지고 있다

 

RM이 윤광조 선생을 안다는 사실은 그냘 흘려들어도 될 말이었 지만 다른 각도에서 그와 방탄소년단을 생각하게 된 계기가 되었 다.  그들의 곡과 가사는 그들의 가치관과 철학을 대변한다.  프랑 스 철학자 모리스 메를로퐁타는 철학을 근본적 반성이라고 했다반성을 통해 인간은 객관적으로 자신을 들여다보게 된다.  그렇게 자신을 들여다보면서 어떻게 해서든 이 삶을 최대한 잘살 수 있는 방법을 찾고자 한다는 것이다.  이것이 바로 생활철학이다.  이 생활철학의 창시자가 소크라테스라는 키케로의 주장이지만암튼 고고한 철학자들이 그 좋은 머리를 굴리며 까마득히 높은 사유의 세계에서 신선놀음하고 있을 때 소크라테스가 그 철학을 인간 세상으로 끌어내렸다는 건 정설이다.  그런 생활철학을 나는 방탄 소년단의 노래 가사 속에서 읽는다

 

특히 유엔 연설 중팬데믹 속에서도 건강하게 살아가기 위해 새로운 변화에 용기 있게 도전하며 노력하는 다양한 젊은 세대를 설명하며 우리 미래 세대는 로스트 제너레이션이 아니라 웰컴 제너레이션이라는 이름이 더 잘 어울린다.  변화에 겁먹기보다는 웰컴이라 말하면서 앞으로 걸어나가는 세대라는 의미라는 대목  이 인상 깊었다.  가능성과 희망을 믿고 있으면 더 새로운 길을 발견할 것이라는 이야기가 참으로 마음에 와 닿았다

 

그들은 자신들의 가치관과 철학을 실천까지 한다.  ‘퍼미션 투 댄스’ 노래 후반부터 즐겁다.  춤추다평화를 수어로 안무해 전 세계 청각장애자들에게 큰 감명을 준 일이며 이번에 입었던 업 사이클링 패션브랜드 검정 슈트가 그러하다

 

그러니 무엇을 더 주저할 것인가?  우리도 오늘을 웰컴하면서 새로운 미래를 도전헤보자!

 

<이영주 수필가>

 

지난해(2020가을 영국과 미국에서 동시 출간된 우생의 영문 에세이집 코스미안 랩소디Cosmian Rhapsody’에 실린 글 나 자신을 사랑하자Love Myself’를 관심있는 독자를 위해 옮겨 본 다.

 

“Love Myself”

 

(On September 24, 2018, all seven members of the K-pop group took the floor as UNICEF’s goodwill ambassadors, and its group BTS leader RM, born Kim Nam-joon addressed the United Nations floor in support of the launch of “Youth 2030:  The United Nations Youth Strategy” along with the “Generation Unlimited Partnership.”  The goals of  these programs are to listen to the voices of the world’s 1.8 billion youth and, by creating innovative programs, to get them in school or age-appropriate work by 2030.)

 

“It’s an incredible honor to be invited to an occasion of such significance for today’s young generation.  Last November, BTS launched the LOVE MYSELF campaign with UNICEF, building on our belief that true love first begins with loving myself.  We have been partnering with UNICEF’s End Violence Program to protect children and young people all over the world from violence.  And, our fans have become a  major part of this campaign with their action and their enthusiasm.  We truly have the best fans in the world. 

 

I’d like to begin by talking about myself. I was born in Ilsan, a city near Seoul, South Korea.  It is a really beautiful place with a lake, hills, and even an annual flower festival.  I spent a very happy childhood here and I was judged like an ordinary boy.  I used to look up at the night sky and I used to dream the dreams of a boy.  I used to imagine that I was a superhero who could save the world. 

 

In an intro to one of our early albums, there’s a line that says, “My heart stopped when I was maybe nine or ten.”  Looking back, I think that’s when I began to worry about what other people thought of me and started seeing myself in their eyes.  I stopped looking up at the night skies, the stars.  I stopped daydreaming.  Instead, I just tried to jam myself into the molds that other people made.  Soon, I began to shut out my own voice and started to listen to the voices of others.  No one called out my name and neither did I.  My heart stopped and my eyes closed shut. 

 

And so, like this I, we, all lost our names.  We became like ghosts.  But I had one thing and that was music.  There was a small voice inside of me that said, “Wake up, man, and listen to yourself.”  But it took me quite a long time to hear the music calling my name.  Even after making the decision to join BTS, there were a lot of hurdles.  Some people might not believe it, but most people thought we were hopeless.  And sometimes, I just wanted to quit.  But I think I was very lucky that I didn’t give it all up.  And I’m sure that I and we will keep stumbling and falling like this. 

 

BTS has become artists performing in those huge stadiums, and we’re selling millions of albums right now.  But I am still an ordinary 24-year-ole guy.  If there’s anything that I’ve achieved, it was only possible that I have my other BTS members right by my side, and because of the love and support that our ARMY fans all over the world made for us.  And maybe I made a mistake yesterday.  But yesterday’s me is still me.  Today, I am who I am with all of my faults and my mistakes.  Tomorrow, I might be a tiny bit wiser, and that would be me too.  These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in constellation of my life. 

 

I have come to love myself for who I am, for who I was, and for who I hope to become. 

 

I would like to say one last thing.  After releasing our “Love Yourself” albums, and launching the Love Myself campaign, we started to hear remarkable stories from our fans all over the world - how our message helped them overcome their hardships in life and to start loving themselves.  Those stories constantly remind us of our responsibility.  So let’s all take one more step.  We have learned to love ourselves, so now I urge you to speak yourself.

 

I would like to ask all of you, “What is your name?”  What excites you and makes your heartbeat?  Tell me your story.  I want to hear your voice.  I want to hear your conviction – no matter who you are or where you’re from, your skin  color, your gender identity.  Just speak yourself.  Find your name and find your voice by speaking yourself.

 

I’m Kim Nam-joon and also RM of BTS.  I am an idol and I am an artist from a small town in Korea.  Like most people, I’ve made many mistakes in my life.  I have many faults and I have many more fears, but I am going to embrace myself as hard as I can.  And I am starting to love myself gradually, little by little. 

 

“What is your name?”

 

This speech recalls a quote from C. S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity,” published in 1952.

 

“For a long time, I used to think this is a silly, straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did, and not hate the man?  But years later, it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life – namely myself.  However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself.  Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things.”

 

It should go without saying that one cannot love and respect others unless and until one can love and respect oneself, and it’s far better to love oneself believing in the original blessing than to hate oneself believing in the “original sin.”

 

Furthermore, how much better to be born incomplete, imperfect, uncharted and unmolded, given carte blanche!

 

Bravo!  Cheers!

 

이상과 같은 BTS 리더 RM의 유엔 연설 내용을 적극 지지 응원하는 뜻에서 한 마디 사족蛇足을 달아보리라.

 

앞에 인용한 연설문에서 RM은 묻고 있다.  “네 이름이 뭐냐?  What is your name?”

 

우리 모두 이 세상에 태어나면서 부모님 또는 조부모님께서 지어준 이름을 갖게 되었지만 우리 모두 하나의 공통된 이름이 있지 않은가

 

너 나 할 것 없이 우리 모두 하나같이 사랑의 무지개 타고 Arainbow of Love’ 이 지구별에 잠시 들린 우주 나그네 코스미안Cosmian’이 아닌가.  그러니 우리 모두 나의 이름은 코스미안이어라

 

현재 있는 것 전부,

과거에 있었던 것 전부,

미래에 있을 것 전부인

대우주를 반영하는

소우주가 인간을 포함한

우주 만물이라면

이런 코스모스가

바로 나 자신임을

깨닫게 되는 순간이

그 어는 누구에게나 있어라

이러한 순간을 위해

너도 나도 우리 모두

하나같이 인생순례자

세계인 아니 우주인

코스미안이 되었어라.

하늘하늘 하늘에 피는

코스모스바다가 되기 위해

 

No matter where one is from, whether from the East, the West, the North, or the South, it doesn’t matter.  If we look from the big picture, we all are ‘cosmians’ passing through as fleeting sojourners on this tiny planet earth in the sea of cosmos.  This is the whole point we need to remind our- selves of the Cosmos Cantata we’ve got to sing all together. 

 

If each one of us is indeed a micrcosmos reflecting a macrocosmos, all that existed in the past, all that exists at present and all that will exist in the future, we’re all in it together, all on our separate journeys to realize this. 

 

May each one of us be the sea of cosmos!

 

지난 봄 (2021년 3 7일자코스미안뉴스에 올린 우생의 칼럼 옮겨보리라

[이태상 칼럼코스모스바다로 돌아갈거나

 

우리의 삶은 카오스에서 생기는 무지개지We live in a rainbow of chaos.

 

-Paul Cezzane

 

 누군가의 구름에 무지개가 되어보리Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

 

-Maya Angelou

 

언제부터인가 많이 쓰이는 영어 단어가 전부란 뜻의 ‘everything’ 이다. 14세기 때부터 쓰이기 시작했다는  ‘everything’ 존재하는 모든 것의 대명사로 구어체로는 현재 상황을 말해준다.  그야말로 모든 것은 모든 (everything is everything)’이라고모든  지칭한  예를 들자면 부지기수다.

 

() 전부다. God is everything.

돈이 전부다. Money is everything.

사랑이 전부다. Love is everything.

네가 내겐 전부다. You are everything to me.

이게 전부다. This is everything.

네가 무엇에 대해 알아야  전부. Everything you need to know about something.

어떤 일이 생길  그럴만한 이유가 있다. Everything happens for a reason.

 

물론 이런 표현이 과장된 허풍성세(虛風聲勢) 수도 있겠지만  한편으로는 일편단심(一片丹心) 고백일 수도 있으리라어떤 상황과 처지에 있든 간에 무엇에 정신을 팔고 마음을 쓰느냐에 따라 세상이 변하고  삶이 달라지지 않던가.

 

흔히 아는 만큼 보인다고 하지만찾는 것만 눈에 띄고 꿈꾸는 것만 이루어지며 웃는 대로 즐겁지 않은가하지만 우리 칼릴 지브란 (Kahlil Gibran) 산문시 ‘눈물과 미소(A Tear and a Smile)’ 깊이 한번 새겨보리라.

 

 가슴속 슬픔을 나는 많은 사람들 무리의 기쁨과 바꾸지 않으리그리고 슬픔에서 샘솟아  온몸 구석구석으로 흐르는 눈물을 웃음 으로 바꾸지 않으리다만  삶은 언제나 눈물인 동시에 미소이어 I would not exchange the sorrow of my heart for the joy of the multitude. And I would not have the tears that sadness makes to flow from every part turn into laughter. I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.

 

 가슴을 깨끗이 정화하고 삶의 숨겨진 비밀들을 알게   눈물나와 같은 () 분신(分身)들에게 접근하고 또한 신의 화신 (化身) 되게   미소 말이어라A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding of life’s secrets and hidden things. A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and to be a symbol of my glorification of the gods.

 

상처 입은 가슴의 눈물과 하나  눈물  방울존재의 기쁨을 나타 내는 하나의 미소 말이어라A tear to unite me with those of broken hearts; a smile to be sign of my joy in existence.

 

나는 지침과 절망으로 살기보다 차라리 사모하고 그리워하다 죽으리라I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I lived weary and despairing.

 

 영혼 가장 깊은 곳에 사랑과 아름다움에 대한 목마름과 굶주림이 있기를 갈망하리왜냐하면 부족함 없이 만족한 사람들이 가장 비참   나는 보았기 때문이지사모하고 그리워하는 자의 탄식 소리   세상  어떤 감미로운 멜로디보다  감미로운 까닭이지I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the depth of my spirit, for I have seen those who are satisfied the most wretched of people. I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.

 

저녁이 되면 꽃은 꽃잎들을 접고 그리움을 품은  잠들었다가 아침 이면 입술을 열고 해와 입맞춤 하지With evening’s coming the flower folds her petals and sleeps, embracing her longing. At morning’s approach she opens her lips to meet the sun’s kiss.

 

꽃의 삶이란 그리움이자 결실눈물과 미소이지The life of a flower is longing and fulfillment. A tear and a smile.

 

바다의 물방울들은 물안개로 변해 하늘로 피어올라 구름이 되지The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come together and are a cloud.

 

그리고 구름은 언덕과 골짜기 위로 떠돌다가 산들바람을 만나면 울면서 들로 떨어져 시냇물과 강물을 만나 고향 바다로 돌아가지And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping to the fields and joins with the brooks and rivers to return to the sea, its home.

 

구름의 삶이란 이별과 만남눈물과 미소이지The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting. A tear and a smile.

 

그렇게 영혼도   영혼으로부터 떨어져 물질세계에서 구름처럼 슬픔의 산골짜기와 기쁨의 들판 위로 떠돌다가 죽음의 산들바람을 만나면  곳으로 돌아가리So does the spirit become separated from the greater spirit to move in the world of matter and pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow and the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death and return whence it came.

 

사랑과 아름다움의 대양(大洋), 하늘님에게로To the ocean of Love and Beauty-to God.

 

이는  마디로 눈물이 무지개로 피어오르는 것이 미소라는 뜻이리 그래서  대양의 물방울로 태어난 우리 모든 코스미안들도 코스모스바다로 돌아갈거나 그래서 우리 모두의 자화상 (自畵像)’이라   있을 ‘바다 동시를  나이    지어그리고 우리 모두의 자서시(自敍詩)   있을 ‘코스모스  소년 시절 지어평생토록 나는 읊조리고 있는 것이리라.

 

바다

 

영원과 무한과 절대를 상징하는

() 자비로운 품에 뛰어든

인생이련만 어이 이다지도 고달플까.

 

애수에  갈매기의 고향은

정녕 출렁이는 파도 속에 있으리라.

 

인간의 마음아 바다가 되어라.

 마음 바다가 되어라.

 

태양의 정열과 창공의 희망을 지닌

바다의 마음이 무척 부럽다.

 

순진무구한 동심과 진정한 모성애 간직한

바다의 품이 마냥 그립다.

 

비록  방울의 물이로되

흘러흘러 바다로 간다.

 

The Sea

 

Thou, symbolizing

Eternity, infinity and the absolute,

Art God.

 

How agonizing a spectacle is life

In blindness tumbled into Thy callous cart

To be such a dreamy sod!

 

The homeland of the gull

Of sorrow and loneliness full.

Where would it be?

Beyond mortal reach would it be?

 

May humanity be a sea of compassion!

My heart itself be a sea of communion!

 

I envy Thy heart

Containing passions of the sun

And fantasies of the sky.

 

I long for Thy bosom

Nursing childlike enthusiasm

And all-embracing mother nature.

 

Although a drop of water,

It trickles into the sea.

 

코스모스

 

소년은 코스모스가 좋았다.

이유도 없이 그냥 좋았다.

 

소녀의 순정을 뜻하는

꽃인  알게 되면서

청년은 코스모스를

사랑하게 되었다.

 

철이 들면서 나그네는

코스미안의 길에 올랐다.

카오스 같은 세상에서

코스모스 우주를 찾아

 

그리움에 지치지 않는 노인은

무심히 뒤를 돌아다보고

빙그레 한번 웃게 되리라.

걸어온 발자국마다

무수히 피어난

코스모스 발견하고

 

무지개를 좇는

파랑새의 애절한 꿈은

정녕 폭풍우 휘몰아치는

 먹구름장 너머 있으리라.

 

사랑의 무지개배 타고

코스모스바다 위로

하늘하늘 날아보리

코스모스 칸타타 부르며

 

모두  아름답고

모두  경이롭고

모두  좋다고

 

This is the Cosmian Song I’ve been singing all my life.

 

 

When I was a boy,

I liked the cosmos,

Cozy and coy

Without rhyme or reason to toss.

 

Later on as a young man,

I fell in love with the cosmos,

Conscious of the significance

Of this flower for me sure,

The symbol of a girl’s love pure.

 

As I cut my wisdom teeth,

I took on the Cosmian path,

Traveling the world far and near

In my pursuit of cosmos

In a chaotic world.

 

Upon looking back one day,

Forever longing, forever young,

Never aging and never exhausted

By yearning for cosmos,

I’d have found unawares numerous cosmos

That had blossomed all along the road

That I had journeyed.

 

The dreamland of the bluebird,

Looking for a rainbow,

Where could it be?

 

Over and beyond the stormy clouds,

Lo and behold, there it is,

The wild blue yonder

Where you can sail and soar

In the sea and sky of cosmos

Arainbow, chanting Cosmos Cantata:

 

All’s beautiful!

All’s wonderful!

All’s just well!

 

 

Absurd and wild though it may have been, this poem expressed my instinctive prayer.

 

Undoubtedly, this call of the sea made me seem like a precocious child.  But alas, my desires remained childlike.

 

Preoccupied with self-criticism, I was unable to be as natural or as divine as the sea.  Was this fanciful vision a trace of childhood innocence or a vestige of human divinity? I would never know, though I should know as I had suffered so much for it.  

 

The words I used to address myself were now all charged with disparate meanings.

 

I could feel, welling up within myself, the scene evoking a long and enduring train of reminiscences,  For me, I fancied, to love was to be born into cosmos.  But alas, much too much to my chagrin, I couldn’t love myself.

 

Wasn’t I hopelessly misdirected in the early days of my life when I was going to enlarge my life by emptying all the small things I belittled but of which life was composed?  

 

Perhaps, though, I did not fail in perseverance of striving to live up to my (pen) name Hae-Sim해심(in Korean), and 海心(in Chinese characters), meaning the Heart of the Sea. 

 

In this light, maybe, I could stop loathing myself and start loving myself for being a wanderer, as a wise old Korean saying notes, to perceive the whole of the universe through a blade of grass.  Perhaps, then, my sufferings were not in vain after all.  Unwittingly I had come to discover my own unique identity I so anxiously longed to bring to light, not to find shame, but to cherish and to nourish.

 

From this fountainhead would spring my sense of decency and dignity I so despaired of ever feeling. From this well- spring would begin a pilgrimage of a little drop (be it a dewdrop or raindrop) trickling into the sea of cosmos, with a few grains of sand or stars serving as my companions on my cosmic journey.

   

[이태상]

서울대학교 졸업

코리아타임즈 기자

합동통신사 해외부 기자

미국출판사 Prentice-Hall 한국/영국 대표

오랫동안 철학에 몰두하면서

신인류 코스미안사상 창시

1230ts@gmail.com


전명희 기자
작성 2021.09.28 09:45 수정 2021.09.28 14:05
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