Panic is definitely setting in, with regards to the time remaining.

On the surface, it is merely a panic about reaching destinations before the bulk of “part-time pilgrim” traffic occupied all the available beds. But the underlying panic, is a latent one : the panic that my Camino was coming to an end, and that I was definitely not ready for it.

Last night upon reaching Portomarin, we had discovered that every single albergue bunk had been occupied. After a long trudge around town, we had had to settle for hotel rooms with a shared shower room. I had been moving so slowly with shin splint pain by the end of the day, that the last bridge crossing and hill climb up to Portomarin had been agony, and a long search for accommodation was almost more than I could bear.

Today started with the early morning horror of discovering that the only available toilet on the floor was blocked in a rather sickening fashion. I had to be inventive, and the only solution that occurred to me was to pee in the shower. Many other pilgrims followed suit. A definite disintegration of standards.

The general feel of the Camino was dramatically different with the new influx of people. Everyone was on the move much earlier. Jade was adamant that we too needed to get up an hour earlier. Even at 7:30am, when we were trying to leave, there were whole school parties of Irish teenagers flooding the hotel reception.

On the pathways there was barely space to breathe, inspiring a desperate need to overtake all the human traffic. It started to feel a little bit like war…and soon I was likening the experience to that of Legolas slaying Orcs (in Lord of the Rings)!
We were overtaking “part-time pilgrims” at a rate of knots, and by the time we had our first coffee stop after about an hour, our tally was 94.

When we arrived at this first cafe, there was already a long queue of school children surrounding the table where we could stamp our passports, not to mention a long snaking queue for the bathroom. There was also a teenager crying inconsolably on the phone to a friend. She was in huge physical pain from walking and our friend Raoul had already given her painkillers.

This all added to the air of panic and we made a decision there and then that for the first time this Camino, we were going to book ahead for our accommodation.
We then spent an hour with guidebooks and phones booking the remaining 3 night’s accommodation until Santiago, after which we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Despite this general sense of rising panic, there was also excitement and joy at the prospect of picking up my next clue of the “Barr treasure trail” today. In fact not one, but two!

A few days ago, the Barrs told me that they had left a “message” for me with Miguel, the owner of an albergue called “Obrigadoiro”, which was in San Xuliàn, just over 4km beyond Palas del Rei. 

As a result, when we decided to book ahead for accommodation, Miguel was the first person I called. We managed to get 4 bunks with him this evening! I was beside myself with joy!

The second clue of the day was a photo. It was a photo of Max (eldest Barr son) standing next to a smiley face beside my name, marked in huge chalk letters on the road! I was told to “look out for it about 2km beyond a newly refurbished cafe called Casa Molar”, which we would pass later this afternoon.

Another lovely feature of the day was an albergue which offered free food and lodgings to pilgrims, a Camino tradition since ancient times. Even though we didn’t need lodgings, we were encouraged by a young volunteer to at least stop and partake of their freshly brewed coffee. We also received a stamp for our passports. Our collection of stamps was becoming prolific and a thing of beauty.

We found Casa Molar in the afternoon and stopped for a thirst-quenching beer. Referring back to the picture clue, we all tried to find traces of the chalk markings, knowing that it was likely to have faded or even disappeared in the past four days. After several kilometres, I had to concede that it had disappeared.

By the time we reached Palas del Rei, it was late afternoon. The last 4kms beyond here until San Xuliàn, through incredibly beautiful woodland, felt long. These uphill gradients were particularly demanding after a 28k day!

San Xulian is a truly picturesque village. And Miguel was indeed a convivial host. His albergue bar was lined with hundreds of empty beer bottles and cans from around the world. Hartmut was excited to see some real East German brands, the Australians spotted small local breweries and I enjoyed recognising assorted brand names from England, Scotland, US and Korea!

After we had our beers in hand, I finally asked Miguel if he had a “message” for me. For a moment I feared the worst, as he didn’t seem to understand. But when I described the Barrs, he broke out into a broad smile and fetched a little plastic ziploc bag with a note inside.

It was a meal receipt. Circled was a dish called “Gordon”, and a message explaining that Lucas (the youngest Barr) had spotted this on a menu and had therefore chosen it. There were handwritten messages from each of the Barrs on this receipt, which made me well up with warmth.

Sitting at the bar was one other man. He was from the outskirts of Chicago, accompanying his teenage daughter on her school trip. Having said that, he’d lost her that evening! She was somewhere behind him (Palas del Rei?) staying with her school friends. The fact that he seemed totally cool with this, relaxed me.

The albergue was delightful, with cosy wee corners to sit and relax. The dinner tables were communal and within the bar area and the pilgrim menu was rustic and tasty.

I received word from the Barrs to say that they had reached Santiago. We exchanged a flurry of texts about the possibility of meeting there. I also received my next “clue”. It was a photo of Lucas sitting at a stone bench with our names, “Su-a and Gordon”, chalked on the wall behind him. He was sitting between our names with his arms around both of us!

I welled up and left the dinner table to find a more private space to let these copious tears out. I found a cosy corner armchair in the back room and had a proper good cry!

The only trouble was that I just couldn’t stop.

Over the next hour or two, Jade and the boys came by and comforted me, as the tears continued to flow. I was overcome by complex and multiple emotions, which are somehow difficult to convey here.

Perhaps it was partly that my Camino was nearing its end and I wouldn’t be seeing my lovely companions on this daily basis for much longer.
There is no doubt in my mind, that knowing the Barrs had completed their journey to Santiago today (and that I would desperately try to still see them there), had a deep impact on me. 

And underlying everything as a constant : the impossibly powerful omnipresence, yet undeniable physical absence of my beloved husband.

Exhausted and emotional, with eyes that could barely open through puffiness, I rejoined my companions in our cosy bunk room to collapse for the night.

Su-a Lee